Friday, January 28, 2005

1,999,998

clothes make the man, the new man thinks
the old man thought the same, they are both wrong to a degree
comfort is found in the rags leading to mummification
leaving both men rotting inside, albeit for totally different reasons

it's really hard to blame the new man, for he strives nobly
his striving is vanity none the less
his target is all wrong, it's not what's best
he should still know better than to be duped

the emperor's new clothes come to mind
as the enlightened scratch their heads & whine
why don't they get it? why can't they learn?
comfort in 1's own skin is the only true turn

yet, the new man presses on, destined to fail
he's as blind as a bat, too bad the books not in braille
the answer is plan & simple to see
new man refuses to believe that that could be all

so many fall away or refuse to come
they just can't live a life covered in the new man's rags
i can't blame them either
i found them about as comforting as bandaids for bypass surgery

what's left for us? what's left for the comfortably naked?
we try & sit among the clothed fools on this sinking ship
stomaching judgmental glances while biting our lip
all the while longing for change, other's awakening

we are to be slaves, for this is definitely true
surely His provided liberty is to be found by more than just a few
of the 2 million that left the sand
those who suckled milk & honey #'d only 2

maybe this is the way it's to be?
to choose new man's rags or a very bare existence or no existence at all
as for me i've found comfort, grace & a very raw redemption
i've finally found my true self, my true call

this degree by which the clothes the man makes
is now very clear for me to see
drop the rags new man, drop them now & see
how the cloak of Providence fits nicely, having earned it on a tree

awaken new man, awaken now would you please?
you're missing all the fun, grace and beauty
all the many things Providence has for you to see
all the things this life of liberty was meant to be



Sundown Motel

I watch you bend beneath the waves
And it seems heavier these days
Each time I see you force a smile my heart just breaks
To see you bend beneath the waves

I don't believe this is what God ever intended
I think it's time to go

The sun is going down I say we follow it out of town
We've been here for far too long, but will they know we're gone
And in the morning when it rises
Maybe it will shine for us

You and me against the world, I don't mind
I've been feeling so low
The sleepwalkers or the girl, made up my mind
I've been feeling so low, so low

I want you to look me in the eye
Tell me if we stay here we won't die
They'll say we love the darkness, but I'll say we hate their half light
Can you to look me in the eye

I don't believe this is what God ever intended
So I wanted you to know

The sun is going down I say we follow it out of town
We've been here for far too long, but will they know we're gone
And in the morning when it rises
Maybe it will shine for us

You and me against the world, I don't mind
We've been feeling so low
The sleepwalkers for the girl, made up my mind

The sun is going down, lets follow it out of town
It will shine on us tomorrow when it comes back around
It's gonna be all right, it's gonna be all right

I don't believe this is what God ever intended
And I wanted you to know

The sun is going down I say we follow it out of town
We've been here for far too long, but will they know we're gone
And in the morning when it rises
Maybe it will shine for us

The sun is going down, it's gonna be all right

--stavesacre

Thursday, January 27, 2005

nekros

Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me...

i work here. it's on the ground floor & it's definitely devoid of anything resembling our wonderful glowing orb. above me existence is decided by the hour at the hands of Providence. above me is reality.

this is constant. this is reality. the vapor that is life oscillates constantly.

this is my iron, my wet rock...upon which my faith has been honed, for it was to either be or to crash upon this iron, this rock & die.

this place eats people alive. at least those whose vitals vanish know. i work with many that don't even know they're already dead.

these zombies are to be pitied. i love them. i hate them. i was them.

they're not our monopoly. they roam elsewhere too. you know them. you maybe 1.

i struggle at times. feelings of unconditional love matched only by my unquenchable appetite for rage. my oscillatory emotions contradict.

i love them. i hate them.

i often think if i could just manipulate these macabre malcontents maliciously enough that i could make them live.

i wish i could. that's the work of Providence tho...He continually has to tell me that i'm not Him...i'm not that smart apparently.

maybe that's y it's so damn hard to love people...it's because they're dead. who can love something that's dead anyways? i certainly have had a helluva time doin' it...

Providence loved us when we were dead. who r we not to do the same? freak out ur friends & neighbors...start loving dead folks. you just may save a soul...

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

appropriatenessless?

some really great things have been happening in my life. the amazing thing is that i'm not talking about winning the lotto kind of amazing either. i'm talking about opportunities that God's been giving me to help others.

this has given me a whole new outlook on altruism and my role. i've always thought of this work taking place in grand places like an exotic foreign country or by men with stoic beards, bowl-cut hairdos & monk robes, but never in a place like my life and never by a person like me. i mean really, have you seen me?

as amazing as these things are, they present with their own set of problems. i'll try to explain, with the hopes that some one could help. 'cause i could surely use it...

the problem is all in my head. i don't know about you, but i've got this constant monologue going on up there when people are talking, which helps a great deal in gauging the appropriateness or inappropriateness (or appropriatenessless if you prefer) of what i'm to say next. with this in mind (pun intended) i come to my problem...

how much transformation can be expected?

2Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

this paste from the amplified bible of romans 12:2, implies the mind in it's entirety. if this be true, than i've got problems...

you see, i've got this voice up there...not the dominant 1 & not 1 that has any true influence over me anymore, but it's still there none the less. this concerns me, 'cause if my mind is to be renewed in it's entirety, it ain't happened yet.

let me illuminate...

i go to the kitchen the other afternoon & over hear the oprah that the old lady has blarin' in the living room. there's a fella on there sharing about how his partner got swept away from him on the beach in thailand during the tsunami. 1st thing to my mind is how this act is a just 1, because these fellows surely brought this on themselves by taunting the very 1 who made them by their alternative lifestyle choice...

i talk to a rn the other nite about her life. she tells me about her boyfriend and how he's dabbling in some stuff & wants her to join him in it. the very 1st thought in my mind is to tell how this is due to their living together in sin...

i have a great friend in another rn who just so happens to be a jw. we have great conversations about spirituality, but i continually find myself thinking about how wrong he is about Jesus & how it's my duty to set him straight...

don't get me wrong...i don't advocate a feel good theology, where grace abounds all the more and there is no consequence for sin, but i do know that i can also shut down dialogue by speech that is perceived as judgmental & manipulative. i just wonder if i'm doomed to have this small voice of fundamental, conservative religiosity bouncing around in my head always, hoping to sabotage the work that i know God's called me to.

can i expect complete transformation 1 day this side of heaven? what say u?


Tuesday, January 25, 2005

everyday

i'd kinda been bummed lately. don't really know why. just was. ever been like that?

anyways, i was on my way into work last nite & dmb came on...

Pick me up, love!
(pick me up, love)
Hey, come on come on come on (everyday)
Everyday, ah

Pick me up, oh, from the bottom
Up to the top, love, everyday
Pay no mind to taunts or advances
I take my chances on everyday

Left to right
Up and down, love
I push up love, love everyday
Jump in the mud, oh
Get your hands dirty with
Love it up on everyday

All you need is
All you want is
All you need is love.
All you need is
What you want is
All you need is love.

Everyday
Everyday
Oh, everyday...

What you’ve got
Lay it down on me
What you’ve got
Lay it down on me

i must've heard this song a 100x...but i guess that tonite i truly listened for the 1st time...

The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love--so you can't know him if you don't love.

1 John 4:8

thanks dave...

may He lay it down on us all...

Monday, January 24, 2005

i know

i propose another reason for the state of christian affairs. it's just too hard. it's unfair. it's very literally self-defeating.

it's just too hard because you never are going to measure up. no matter how much time you spend in prayer or bible study, you're never going to get there. never mind the fact that your body is in constant conflict with the things that you know to be true in a very real & spiritual nature.

it's unfair because the more you have revealed to you only goes to show that there is an exponentially equivalent amount of stuff that you don't know about & probably never will. i constantly scratch my head & wonder how i've missed the point for so long. my incomplete, and at times, incoherent knowledge base leaves me bewildered and bumfuzzled.

it's very self-defeating by the very nature of the One whom all our adoration is due. He is our measuring stick and it's nothing short of perfection. we're called to be something that we'll never be.

i'm sorry for the negativity put forth in this post. i can't help it. i've had a tough week.

i know the answers to the above & i'm certainly not looking for pat answers or cliche's for a lift. sometimes a simple "i know" will suffice. anybody know what i mean?

all i know for sure is that i'm an idiot. i can never possibly hope to comprehend God, but that doesn't mean that i'm gonna quit. i understand free will somewhat, but it doesn't stop my heart from breaking when my Cassi has to get her face sown up. my knowing about a grand design still doesn't stop my tears when my wee one's hearts break.

why?

i know.


Monday, January 17, 2005

Why?

Why? Why is there pain in this world? Better yet, why if God is so good, kind, compassionate and is even known as love, does He allow all this suffering? Why? I'm afraid that our very limited, finite minds will never be able to fully understand this, but it still doesn't answer the question. Why?

My beloved bought our kids their 1st pet a couple days ago. He/she (i don't know for fish sex) was a beta, who the kids promptly named Flava Flav. Go figure. Needless to say, Flava didn't last & I found him laying at the bottom of his little fish bowl this morning when I got up. I promptly hid him in the closet before the kids saw him and before Amy & I could figure out our next move.

"Where's Flava Flav?" they asked not soon afterwards.

"Sleeping" I lied in my attempts to buy some time.

The inevitable happened at a quarter till 10. I sat the kids down and told them Flava had died. My heart shattered as Cam's face sprung a leak & I knew that in some small, or big, way that Amy & I were partly to blame.

If we had just never bought the damn fish in the 1st place...

Part of Cam's innocence died today. It nearly split my heart in 2. I don't know if I can take anymore of this kind, but I know that that's not an option.

He'll definitely know more pain, but he'll also know more joy too. The world in which we live doesn't allow for us to know 1 without the other. If it did, how would we know 1 from the other.

I know that some may say that this is stupid & that it was just a fish, but it was so much more to Cam and therefore it was so much more to me. If my heart breaks with something as silly as this, I can't help but wonder how our Father's above breaks with ours.

Why?

Friday, January 14, 2005

Put Up or Shut Up

Alright peeps...I've got an offer I hope that you can't refuse...

We here @ deathway have been in contact w/Jay Bakker & he's agreed to an interview and for us to feature his church, Revolution, on deathway.com. Here's where you come in...I'm opening the floor to help formulate questions for the interview & would hope that you'd post them to me so I can ask them of Jay. If you're new to all this, please check out our past interviews to get an idea of what I'm talking about. You can get there by clicking on the flashing deathway logo under my archived posts on the right-hand side of the screen.

This format may prove to be a cool way for you to get involved and show a better way for us to conduct interviews in the future. Help us!!!


jim & tammy faye's boy...whoda thunk it?

please educate yourself if you are interested @:

http://www.vivalarevolution.org

he's also gotta book...son of a preacher man...good/quick read...review to be up soon @ deathway...


Thursday, January 13, 2005

Gator

My heart breaks. We are know in the age where information abounds...I guess this is a good thing? I'd ask you to remember a Gator today...





LA CONCHITA, Calif. (AP) - Jimmie Wallet went out for ice cream, and when he got back, everyone and everything he had left behind were gone. On Wednesday, he identified the bodies of his wife and three of his daughters, pulled from a tangle of homes smashed by a mudslide.

No one lost more than Wallet in Monday's mudslide, which has killed at least 10 people in this oceanside community. And, driven by the frantic hope of finding his family, no one was as quick to claw through the debris and help pull out survivors.

Wallet dug for hours in the rain around where he thought the family might be. He helped rescue two people before he stopped and waited, smoking cigarettes as friends stopped by to embrace him. Early Wednesday, after 36 hours, his wait ended.

His wife, Mechelle, was the first to be found. Around 2 a.m., firefighters and several of Wallet's friends carried her to the makeshift morgue at the town's gas station. Wallet went in and identified her, then returned to the porch of a peach stucco house where he had been staying, put up his feet and sat without a word.

Two hours later, his youngest daughter, 2-year-old Paloma, was taken out on a stretcher. Her sister Raven, 6, was next, soon followed by 10-year-old Hannah.

The three girls were found next to each other, apparently sitting on a couch when the slide broke apart their house, pushing it for about 100 yards and covering it in muck.

"They never had a chance to get out," said Scott Hall, a battalion chief with Ventura County Fire Department.

His fourth daughter, a 16-year-old, had been in nearby Ventura when the slide happened.

As workers searched for the missing in La Conchita, Wallet said in interviews with The Associated Press that he moved to this oceanside town 70 miles northwest of Los Angeles from Ventura in search of an easier life.

Wallet said they played music and hung out on an old bus with a rooftop patio. Engraved over the home's front gate were the words "Music is love."

Residents of La Conchita said Wallet sang with his kids, took them to the beach and walked around town with Hannah on his shoulders. His wife stayed home with the children and was "powerful, such a rock," said Vera Long, who lived three houses down.

"They were incredibly beautiful children. They had these sparkling, intelligent, deeply soulful eyes. Just incredibly loving," Long said. "The only comfort I can derive is that they were all together."


May it be that Music breathes peace into Gator's life...

Icarian Destinations

Why do we do it?
Why do we type?
Why do you read?
Is it to fulfill some unmet need?

Are we that egotistical?
Is our thirst for acceptance so vast as to propagate this mess?
Is it inversely proportional to our unparalleled shallowness?
Could we possibly be that self-absorbed?

So what's it gonna be?
Is this some sick cry for help or something of worth?
I'd be amiss if I didn't admit to the lift
I get from seeing a # by the word comment

That's not all though, I'm glad to say
There's an undercurrent to these texts regardless of their literary worth
They're a testament of the newest kind to examine the Way
To spelunk the cavernous Creator...repelling by creativity

Or to ride wings of silver with feathers of gold to Icarian destinations
Where very few mortals have been
Where angels tread only with great trepidation
To pierce the zenith...entering the Triarchy's den

To what heights or depths might we reach?
We may never know,
but save for this, I know for certain
We'll only arrive there, if by our words we go

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Delusion

His dream often goes unnoticed...undreamt
The potential is always there
It's nuclear by nature
It's power only harnessed by our constricting pseudo-reality

You want to know how to diminish eternity?
Read the book, watch TBN or hold a pew
How can this be? it surely isn't possible?
Unfortunately...it is...

We trade our identity in Him for something we only think we want
and are satisfied with what we certainly don't need
Oh the irony of our prisons
The chains of enslavement to poor theology

Liberty has never been nearer
Than when we stepped out to walk the aisle and left it so far behind
I weep over the wasted years
Playing over & over again at the cinema inside my mind

Do you truly want answers & to know where Truth resides?
Quit playing the game, it's time to turn the tide
Peel back the pristine exterior
Delve into the Consuming Fire that burns inside

Dare to dream the dream
Fall asleep...free fall into Forever
Allow eternity to engross your proper enslavement
Eat the book

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Stop Trying

The following is from Donald Miller's Searching for God Knows What. I suggest that if you haven't gotten this book, to not even finish this sentence, but to see about getting it know. It's that good.

And that is the thing about life. You go walking along, thinking people are talking a language and exchanging ideas, but the whole time there is this deeper language people are really talking, and that language has nothing to do with ethics, fashion, or politics, but what it really has to do with is feeling important and valuable. What if the economy we are really dealing in life, what if the language we are really speaking in life, what if what we really want in life is relational?

Now this changes things quite a bit, because if the gospel of Jesus is just some formula I obey in order to get taken off the naughty list and put on a nice list, then it doesn't meet the deep need of the human condition,it doesn't interact with the great desire of my soul, and it has nothing to do with the hidden (or rather, obvious) language we all are speaking. But if it is more, if it is a story about humanity falling away from the community that named it, and an attempt to bring humanity back to that community, and if it is more than a series of ideas, but rather speaks directly into this basic human need we are feeling, then the gospel of Jesus is the most relevant message in the history of mankind.

I urge you to seek His company rather than being motivated by avoiding His condemnation. Naughty and nice are irrelevant when you long for His embrace & sit in His lap. The god of your dreams doesn't hold a candle to the God of our reality. Embrace Him. Know Him. You'll never be good enough. Stop trying.

Luke & Hank...1 last thought

I know that most folks may find that it's a stretch to see the gospel in star wars or king of the hill, but I can't help but think otherwise. After all...the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! If He can express truth through nature and His created things, why not Luke or Hank? I'm certainly not for substituting cultural parallels for biblical truth, but if my 5 year old shows interest and I can relate it to ultimate Truth, you can bet your ass that I'm all over that.

The question has risen whether or not the intent is there on behalf of the earthly creator involved with these stories. I'm of the nature that it doesn't even matter. The point is that these stories appeal to something deep within ourselves because they transcend myth & lore and resonate with the yearning for Truth that's He's set within all of us.

Tolkien called this connection to ultimate truth and it's telling through parallel tales evangelium. It seems to hallow these stories from within and I firmly believe that they can be used if we so choose. Our Master found worth in the art of parable, maybe we should too.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Star Wars Salvation

The freedom of an entire life redeemed is really hard to articulate and maybe even harder to comprehend. Our redemption, when viewed as a seamless garment that encompasses our entire existence, becomes what it was always meant to be and is definitely of greater worth than the concept of "being saved." Don't get me wrong, I'm really fond of missing out on an eternity spent sans God, but there is oh, so much more to the equation than that.

The joy of seeing my boy Cam (5), discover the treasure that is the original Star Wars trilogy has really been a treat for me this past week. I would have never imagined in a million years the stories that I loved, lived & died with as a kid would revisit me with so much more depth and fulfillment as an adult. I'm finally seeing the themes of faith, redemption & restoration that are timeless & true displayed along with the thrilling adventure that captured my ever waking hours as a child.

On the way home from church last nite I was able to relate some of the subversive themes of redemption to Cam and even though he can't fully grasp the idea, he knows that he wants to try & do good like Luke, instead of selling out to power like Vader. We also talked of how God created both Luke & Vader as well as other characters/creatures and it was awesome. It's almost as if I'm seeing this stuff for the 1st time, and in a way, I guess that I am.

I had to laugh the other day at the store where a lot of christian stuff is sold, (I'm sworn to not say/type their name for reasons that I won't go into here, but suffice it to say the name is blank-Way) for good, bad or other reasons, as Amy pointed out the new study series according to I Love Lucy. Yet another highly relevant and pertinent way to share the gospel, much akin to the Andy Griffith or Beverly Hillbilly studies, I'm sure. How 'bout we drop the junk & do something with some substance? Anybody for the gospel according to Star Wars?

I say it's time to stop babying our people & patronizing the fool out of 'em and give them something of worth. Let's quit embarrassing ourselves with this "stuff". It's high time we quit paying homage to the nebulous sky fairy and represent an awesome God with guts instead of garbage. Who's with me?

The Gospel


The Setting
Once upon a time...
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.....
In the beginning...(
Genesis 1:1; John 1:1)

The Hero
The hero is in an obscure place with nothing extraordinary about him.
Luke Skywalker is living with his Aunt and Uncle on a remote planet called Tatooine.
Jesus Christ, a carpenter from a tiny village named Nazareth, in a remote province called Galilee. (
Mark 1:9)

The Call
The call to adventure usually comes through a herald and requires the hero to separate and begin his journey or quest.
Two droids are purchased by Luke's Uncle. One droid, R2D2, has a hidden message that changes Luke's life and begins his adventure.
The forerunner, John the Baptist, prepares the way of the Lord. He identifies Jesus as the Son of God. (
John 1:23-34)

The Wise Guide
The hero is given a wise guide.
Luke is given Obi Wan Kenobi as his wise guide
At Jesus' baptism, the Holy Spirit descends and comes upon Him. (
Matthew 3:13-17)

The Powerful Weapon
Usually the hero receives a powerful weapon to help him in the battles he must fight.
The Jedi light saber
The Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God (
Revelation 19:15)

Hero Partners
The hero is given partners to help him on his quest. (They begin a journey of their own.)
Han Solo and Chewbacca
12 Disciples (
Matthew 10:1-4)

Rescuing the Princess
Usually there is a princess being held in a castle or labyrinth that the hero must negotiate in order to set her free.
Princess Leia held captive on the Death Star; also held captive on Tatooine by Jabba the Hut
Jesus Christ came to earth to rescue His Bride and set her free. (
Ephesians 5:23-27; Luke 4:18-21)

Hero in Battle
The hero has to go through many battles usually against terrible beasts and evil forces.
Luke engages in battles with beasts and his evil foe, Darth Vader.
Jesus Christ came to destroy the evil trinity of sin, Satan, and death.(
Hebrews 2:14-15; I John 3:8; Revelation 17:11-21)

Sacred Groves
The hero must leave and go to a special place alone to be taught and tested.
Luke goes to Dagobah to be trained by Yoda. (Note his emersion in water just prior to leaving for Dagobah.)
After His baptism, Jesus is led by the Spirit into the wilderness alone, where He is tempted for 40 days.(
Matthew 4:1-11)

Mystical Union
Usually there is some sort of a mystical union with a woman.
Luke's quest is a spiritual one to become a Jedi Knight. He discovers that he has a twin sister, Princess Leia. Han Solo, who has begun his own journey, is more earthly. He enters into and is transformed by his love relationship with Princess Leia.
Jesus Christ lays down His life in order to establish a "New Covenant" with His Bride.(
Hebrews 10:12-18)

Sacrifice and Betrayal
The hero often is betrayed and must suffer a type of "death".
Luke experiences a betrayal of sorts when he learns his father is Darth Vader. He would rather "die" than join him; he jumps into the abyss. Han is betrayed by his friend, Lando Calrissian, and experiences a type of death when frozen in carbonite.
Jesus Christ was betrayed by His disciple, Judas Iscariot. Jesus was crucified, dead, and buried. He rose on the third day. (
I Corinthians 15:3-7; Luke 22:47-48)

Return of the Hero
After rescuing the Princess, the hero returns home.
Luke returns to Tatooine dressed as a Jedi Knight; rescues Han and Leia.
Jesus Christ returns to His Father's house. (
John 14:1-6)

Descent to the Underworld
The hero usually has to make a visit to the "Underworld".
Luke's encounter with Darth Vader on the Death Star.
Jesus Christ descends into the "lower parts of the Earth".(
Ephesians 4:9-10)

Reconciliation with the Father
The hero needs to be reconciled with his father.
Luke is reconciled with his father, Darth Vader, because he chose love rather than hate.
Jesus Christ, separated from His Father on the Cross, is restored to His Father's side.(
Philippians 2:5-11)

Final Victory
When the journey is over and the quest has been obtained, there is a grand celebration.
Celebration on Endor after the destruction of the evil Emperor and his forces.
Marriage Supper of the Lamb.(
Revelation 19:7-9)

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Project 86

This interview is kinda long, but well worth the time if you've got it to spend...

http://www.jesusfreakhideout.com/interviews/Project86.asp

I just hate that I didn't do it...

Holy Balloons

It's been a great week, a tiring week filled with work & business, but a great week none the less. We've got our start on boiler room pace and are excited about the possibilities. I know that it's far from where it will be eventually, but it's a start.

I'd be pretty fool hardy to think that some paint, a coffee maker, some huge nails, a sledge & a graffiti wall is going to make a difference in the world, or on a local level for that matter, but I know that it is just the 1st step in a long, never ending journey. No matter how far He's called any to walk, it always begins with that 1st step. Our 1st is all about fostering an environment that says Dad is here...come rest...whisper to Him in secret...scream at Him your heart...crawl up in His massive lap & know that He is God.

So this is where it begins. 24-7. To pray without ceasing. It's so much more than having our heads constantly bowed. It's about opening the door to our heart repeatedly & rhythmically so that our conscious bleeds into the subconscious. Our prayers begin to know no boundaries and have no etiquette. They begin to show up in the damnest of places. Places where we would think that that Holy balloon should have no business. Places where they should have been all along.

"Whether we think of, or speak to, God, whether we act or suffer for Him, all is prayer, when we have no other object than His love, and the desire of pleasing Him. All that a Christian does, even in eating and sleeping, is prayer, when it is done in simplicity, according to the order of God...In souls filled with love, the desire to please God is a continual prayer."

---John Wesley, A Plain Account of Christian Perfection

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Screaming Out

Ok, so here's the deal. I'm a creature of habit & routine, so after working this shift for 3 1/2 yrs I've finally come to some conclusions. Saturday rolls around & after putting in close to 80 hrs for the week, I start to feed off of this euphoric sense of accomplishment accompanied by the grandiose idea of 7 days off. These feelings are compounded by my emotions of the Sunday to come & the privilege it is to teach.

Needless to say, Saturday nites & early Sunday mornings are a time of spiritual highness for me. I often wonder if it's because my physical body is so worn, that I appear more spiritual or stronger spiritually. This is a very special & emotional time for me. I wouldn't trade these hours for anything...only problem is that it's limited.

I always get the sense that I'm going to take Sunday morning bible study by storm and leave a wake of spiritually slain students, but my storm is usually a drizzle by then. The limitations of my physical self become pretty evident and therefore often leads to my great disappointment of what was to be going in. Tonight is no different, safe for the fact that I enquired earnestly that He'd allow it to be.

As Gold & Silver blared through the speakers of my Chevy I sped to work this nite, the thirst that He'd placed in me made manifest in the salt streams that traversed my cheeks. I didn't even know all the words, but I knew enough. I knew that it's all about shelter and how I longed for the shelter that could preserve my 'high' until the morning.

This morning...now, is to be like no other. This is where it starts. I'm to propose the beginning of our Boiler Room of sorts here in Pace.

Inside of me is screaming out, I'm praying for my prayers

I was hit like a sledge hammer last nite. I've been working on Red Moon Rising, when it happened. If '05 is to be the year it has to be for me, dw, etc. it's got to be a year of prayer & walking ever closer with Him. This is to be accomplished through the Boiler Room.

A room that brings about connotations of power, essentialness, blood, sweat & tears. A room that spurs creativity, imagination and the desire for depth. A room where communion is a literal & figurative reality.

Do I see God in all of this? maybe all along
It's just that we're so small, and simply not as strong
Strong like wings of silver, and feathers made of gold
To carry heavy hearts, to cover all our helpless souls

The time for talk has ceased. The time for action is upon us. It weighs heavily upon me and threatens to be the mill stone that drags me under.

If you live in the Pace/Pensacola area and are interested in revolution, join us. If you live elsewhere, I'm working on a way to connect us through dw & prayer. If you've got any ideas, feel free to let me know.

All I can tell you for sure, is that '05 is going to be a year like no other. I believe it's to be a year of relentless pursuit, phenomenal growth & blessed anointing.

Inside of me is screaming out, I'm praying for my prayers

I can't continue with the status quo. My heart burns within me for what I know that He desires to accomplish. The time is now.

Stay a while...















Saturday, January 01, 2005

11

Oh the new year and the thoughts of origins.
To start over again...not too original I guess.
To wipe the slate clean, get a fresh start, a mulligan...a do over.

The crispness of the blank page is appealing.
It's aura draws, akin to the drunkard looking for another drink.
Warming blankness is fueled by the page of uncluttered text.

The nothingness beckons.

The odometer is reset to 0.
The tank is full.
I ache to take...a long ride.

The xm is powered and so am I.
The road rises as does my spirit.
The response of leather is beneath me.

Discovery is my destination and desire.

This is my time, my year.
I will not flinch.
I'll stare Him in the eyes, refusing to blink.

Compromise has been my calling card.
That man is dead.
Condescension now occupies the tent.

You see, our amps go to 11...that's 1 more than 10.

Time to see the next level.
Go to the end of the transparent brick road to see where it leads.
Turn it up a notch and eat the dial.

So, who's with me?
Anyone else for insanity?
Are you interested in what the Unknown desires and dreams for you?

I want to know what 11 sounds like...