perceived futility

all too often i break on the rocks of perceived futility rather than try. i've bought the idea that redemption requires acts that are grandiose & more heroic than i dare imagine. this is true at times, but all too often it's simply not.

the only thing that impedes my being jesus is my own sense of justice. my flesh disallows my being a conduit for grace through the simplistic because i don't have enough of the less of me. the answers are all too easy, it's the implementation that trips me.

i look forward to the new year w/great expectation. as i come into a better understanding of who i am in him, i welcome the challenge of the miraculous being accomplished through the mundanely, miniscule, modalities through which i matriculate & hope to allow grace, hope & redemption to be birthed in the wake. i need not throw up my hands in disgust thinking that i'm unable to afford the opportunity to proxy salvation to my fellow man, but only need to realize that obedience picks up the tab.

i want a regret-free '06. to listen more & talk less. to become my prayers & give feet to my faith. to mean what i say & say what i mean. to share my faith w/out saying a word.

to love out loud. to realize the redemptive value of things i would consider meaningless. to think of tomorrow all the while i fully remain in today.

to measure success by the standard of obedience. to question everything...especially myself. to remain perfect as 1 fully clothed in his flesh.

to remain dead...