From Sword to Shovel
I need help. I wonder if I'm just reaping now where I once sowed, have unrealistic ideations or that I'm just an idiot. I knew that from the very first service that I attended in Seattle that this was to come and yet I still wonder. I knew the intoxicating power of sitting in unison with my brothers of like mind and choked back tears in realizing of what was to come, but I just don't want to succumb. I just don't want to settle.
I felt such a strong sense of community there with guys that I hadn't know from Adam just the days before and now I return and long for what I had. Something is a miss here and I can't quite put my finger on it. I've got my ideas, but I hesitate to breathe them aloud.
I've stared at the definition for so long and for so often that the page in webster's automatically flops open upon putting the book spine side down. I long for community and look for clues. What's at the root? Maybe the answers?
commune (ka mun') v.i. to converse together intimately; to have spiritual intercourse
What? I've prayed to commune with the Father and with fellow believers, but I don't think that I imagined anything remotely involving intercourse, even if it is spiritual. Who would?
So maybe I have my answer. Talk's cheap Lee and you're not much of a spender, I think to myself. I guess this is where I get mad at others when I reap the happy meal instead of that ever satsifying rib eye, forgetting that it was I who sowed to my own mastication to begin with. Here's where I rant and rave and waste my time typing and your time reading of my own futileness.
Here's where we don't even bother to go there. Let's just say that I suck and leave it at that. I have reaped, am unrealistic and am an idiot, but I refuse to quit and settle.
Anybody up for a little intercourse? I'll be the drooling fool, sheepishly breaking my hoe on the rocks. Maybe it'll resemble more hoe than what it was before, after He's done with the beating.
I felt such a strong sense of community there with guys that I hadn't know from Adam just the days before and now I return and long for what I had. Something is a miss here and I can't quite put my finger on it. I've got my ideas, but I hesitate to breathe them aloud.
I've stared at the definition for so long and for so often that the page in webster's automatically flops open upon putting the book spine side down. I long for community and look for clues. What's at the root? Maybe the answers?
commune (ka mun') v.i. to converse together intimately; to have spiritual intercourse
What? I've prayed to commune with the Father and with fellow believers, but I don't think that I imagined anything remotely involving intercourse, even if it is spiritual. Who would?
So maybe I have my answer. Talk's cheap Lee and you're not much of a spender, I think to myself. I guess this is where I get mad at others when I reap the happy meal instead of that ever satsifying rib eye, forgetting that it was I who sowed to my own mastication to begin with. Here's where I rant and rave and waste my time typing and your time reading of my own futileness.
Here's where we don't even bother to go there. Let's just say that I suck and leave it at that. I have reaped, am unrealistic and am an idiot, but I refuse to quit and settle.
Anybody up for a little intercourse? I'll be the drooling fool, sheepishly breaking my hoe on the rocks. Maybe it'll resemble more hoe than what it was before, after He's done with the beating.
posted by lee at 5:17 AM
2 Comments:
You realize that you said "intercourse" and "hoe" all in the same thought, don't you? Dude, you know I'm up for it, but can we call it something else? I don't know if people would understand a bunch of fellas going to church to have intercourse and beat their hoes, like... you know? Just keep rockin', Lee. Who knows what'll happen?
Yep...it's just my feeble attempt at being clever...intercourse does describe a pretty intimate relationship...1 that i think we so desparately lack today...it maybe a stretch...but, hoe=plowshare, if that helps anybody...think isaiah...also, please remember that i'm a pretty sick/sad dude, that likes to do stupid stuff and use lots of these"..."
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