I Wonder

Lately I feel like the dude in the joke that reaches heaven & asks God why He didn't save him from this particular flood that claimed his life. It's at this point that God tells the man that he had sent numerous folks his way to 'save' him, yet each time he turned them away saying that his God was going to do that. I thought about this a lot lately & well, I can't say that I've been able to think of much else.

Katrina, as a near miss, has been able to do what many storms, that were actual hits, over the past 10 yrs have not...question just what the hell it is I'm doing here. I'm by no means on the water, but after seeing the aftermath to my neighbors to the west, I'm coming to realize that that's of little consolation in times like these. I seek for His voice & fear that I'm missing something.

As our city swells w/refugees, gas becomes non-existent & other staples on our store shelves become depleted, I wonder. Is the easiest thing to do the best thing to do or is it the hardest? The simplicity of going to work or picking Cam up from school has now become a logistic nightmare & quite possible an impossibility.

Don't get me wrong, I know that I'm blessed beyond believe by comparison & that's not my intent of writing, but I'm just left wondering if I'm wrongly suppressing my urge to run. To just grab up my babies & hit the road & not look back is something that's constantly there for me now & isn't showing signs of going away soon. I don't have much concern for the material things that are here either, I'm just concerned for the family that I'm called to father.

Maybe this is why Paul says that it'd be best for those unmarried to remain so. My culpability seems to have grown exponentially as we've added number, but I can't bear to think of it any other way. I was meant for this.

So what am I to do? Am I to seek the safety in all sensibility that the good Lord has blessed me with or am I to endure the constant threat of doom overhead? I wonder...