CheeseWood
I was adopted into a rather large family early on. The vast majority of my siblings were quite a bit older than me, so needless to say I didn't know them all that well growing up. Now that I'm somewhat grown, I'd feel pretty secure in saying that I still don't & probably never will. This may seem sad to you, but I've come to accept it as reality.
Growing up in my house was primarily a formulaic venture, safe for a few exceptions. I say this not to place blame, but to merely state truth. The house is still turning out more of my siblings, but of them I know very vew. I often feel that I can speak with authority when I tell them I know where they're coming from, but it has seemed to do little in the makings of common ground...sadly. Apparently our adoptive Father is the only thing we have to link us together, but we can't even agree on a lot of things about Him.
I've grown close to none but a few of my kindred and have tried not to let it bum me out too much. I just keep reminding myself of this reality I've said to have accepted previously in life, and only 6 sentences ago, in this very post. There really is nothing new under the sun in regards to this I'm afraid.
Why is this?
There are probably too many dynamics here to mention, but I'd be remiss not to try my hand at a few. They are all modeled for me on a daily basis & I don't know why I haven't picked up on it earlier. I've got 3 tutors that work 24-7 to show me this stuff & the least I could do is share.
All of these traits seem to be manipulated on the most basic relational level, regardless if we can see it or not. We all love Dad, we just may vary in big & small ways as to how we express it, act upon it or have allowed it to produce whom we've become. We also are greatly affected by our maturity level, (or lack thereof), station in life and willingness to be a good kid (whether big or small).
Everybody knows that Dad's ga ga over babies! & kids! & in my opinion, rightfully so. I love them too. There's nothing I love more than to spend time with my own. When little Aly climbs up in my lap just to be, I'm in heaven. PERIOD.
Problem is the kids can also be a real pain, demand so much of Dad's time & relate to Him in such an infantile way that it can drive the older 1's crazy, because they want a piece of Dad too. After all, they were here 1st & can engage Dad in so much more of a mature relationship. They've paid their dues too, by the way.
No more baby stuff for me Dad...I'm a big boy, or kid, or guy, or man.
That mushy stuff is ridiculous!
or
That cheesy crap is patronizing & sad!
This may be partially true, but I can't help but wonder if it works for some? It must, because it all too often feels as we're a float in it. Our once proud home is now a fondue pot of melted cheddar...suitable for kids only! (&/or really undiscerning folk)
I tried the analagy with a close brother, that 1 sibling's cheese could be another's pizza. It may be a stretch & I think that it was on him. Point I was trying to make was that we all relate differently and that's tends for us to have different tastes, likes/dislikes, preferences, habits, styles, vernacular, hair styles, fashion sense, etc., etc...
More problems arise out of older siblings when they fail to realize Dad's unique relationship with each & every 1 of us. We're quick to discard the Gamalielian model for what works for us or what we think is best for another by our own experience. We rush with splintered eyes to drag our brethren off the road, rather than see them run as Dad's called them to.
What are we so afraid of?
I for 1 am tired of living in fear & know that you should be too.
I never really cared for family feud either...
Growing up in my house was primarily a formulaic venture, safe for a few exceptions. I say this not to place blame, but to merely state truth. The house is still turning out more of my siblings, but of them I know very vew. I often feel that I can speak with authority when I tell them I know where they're coming from, but it has seemed to do little in the makings of common ground...sadly. Apparently our adoptive Father is the only thing we have to link us together, but we can't even agree on a lot of things about Him.
I've grown close to none but a few of my kindred and have tried not to let it bum me out too much. I just keep reminding myself of this reality I've said to have accepted previously in life, and only 6 sentences ago, in this very post. There really is nothing new under the sun in regards to this I'm afraid.
Why is this?
There are probably too many dynamics here to mention, but I'd be remiss not to try my hand at a few. They are all modeled for me on a daily basis & I don't know why I haven't picked up on it earlier. I've got 3 tutors that work 24-7 to show me this stuff & the least I could do is share.
All of these traits seem to be manipulated on the most basic relational level, regardless if we can see it or not. We all love Dad, we just may vary in big & small ways as to how we express it, act upon it or have allowed it to produce whom we've become. We also are greatly affected by our maturity level, (or lack thereof), station in life and willingness to be a good kid (whether big or small).
Everybody knows that Dad's ga ga over babies! & kids! & in my opinion, rightfully so. I love them too. There's nothing I love more than to spend time with my own. When little Aly climbs up in my lap just to be, I'm in heaven. PERIOD.
Problem is the kids can also be a real pain, demand so much of Dad's time & relate to Him in such an infantile way that it can drive the older 1's crazy, because they want a piece of Dad too. After all, they were here 1st & can engage Dad in so much more of a mature relationship. They've paid their dues too, by the way.
No more baby stuff for me Dad...I'm a big boy, or kid, or guy, or man.
That mushy stuff is ridiculous!
or
That cheesy crap is patronizing & sad!
This may be partially true, but I can't help but wonder if it works for some? It must, because it all too often feels as we're a float in it. Our once proud home is now a fondue pot of melted cheddar...suitable for kids only! (&/or really undiscerning folk)
I tried the analagy with a close brother, that 1 sibling's cheese could be another's pizza. It may be a stretch & I think that it was on him. Point I was trying to make was that we all relate differently and that's tends for us to have different tastes, likes/dislikes, preferences, habits, styles, vernacular, hair styles, fashion sense, etc., etc...
More problems arise out of older siblings when they fail to realize Dad's unique relationship with each & every 1 of us. We're quick to discard the Gamalielian model for what works for us or what we think is best for another by our own experience. We rush with splintered eyes to drag our brethren off the road, rather than see them run as Dad's called them to.
What are we so afraid of?
I for 1 am tired of living in fear & know that you should be too.
I never really cared for family feud either...
posted by lee at 9:46 AM
1 Comments:
ok. this one hit home. you been reading my mind?
it is so hard for me NOT to lash out. easy to take ALL my siblings attitudes as the same as only a few.
I was told recently that I have been trying to alienate myself from all my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Maybe it is true. after all, who wants to deal with another knife scar? who wants to have the knees cut out from under us because abrother cut them out? who wants to be shot by friendly fire?
not me.
at least when you are away from the camp...in the wilderness...you can see most of them coming...
wrong? yes. working through it? trying to. easy? hell no.
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