insatiably unrelenting
Before I sink into the big sleep
I want to hear
I want to hear
The scream of the butterfly
when the music's over
the doors
i often wondered what jim meant by that. maybe it's just the byproduct of too many drugs & the insatiably unrelenting appetite for discovery. maybe he was just nuts.
either way, my mind isn't free from a moment this past week as am's & i traveled many miles back & forth between the hospital & home. it was on 1 such recent journey that it happened as i'm sure that it has to countless other travelers on countless other journeys on countless other roads. the significance of said event has none the less been turned over w/in me time & time again as i continue to process the trips as well as the journeys.
it was a gorgeous afternoon on i-49 as the earth lay radiant in all it's glory. the black butterfly bounds beautifully over the tops of the median's bountiful johnson grass unbeknownst to the horrible end that awaits it. the cruise is set @ 78 or so mph's & i quickly do the rudimental physics in my head & realize that this insect is bound to become an endoplasmic glob on the windsheld of my avy.
the new dbt, (well at least to me), is on the radio while my mind swims deep within the lyrics when the inevitable happens. just as beautifully as the bug once bounced over grass tops as if pulled on a string, it now comes to a horrific rest on the glass before me. already considering the wonderfully terrifying realities of the fragility of life w/mike in the hospital only serves to compound the situation.
& the cd spins...
Once upon a time, my advice to you would have been go out and find yourself a whore
But I guess I've grown up, because I don't give that kind of advice anymore
Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt
I was 27 when I figured out that blowing my brains wasn't the answer
So I decided, maybe I should find a way to make this world work out for me
And my good friend Paul was 83 when he told me; that "To love is to feel pain"
And I thought about that then and I've thought about that again and again
Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt
"To love is to feel pain" there ain't no way around it
The very nature of love is to grieve when it is over
The secret to a happy ending is knowing when to role the credits
Better role them now before something else goes wrong
No, it's a wonderful world, if you can put aside the sadness
And hang on to every ounce of beauty upon you
Better take the time to know it there ain't no way around it
If you feel anything at all
Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt
So if what you have is working for you, or you think that it can stand a reasonable chance, and whatever's broken seems fixable and nothing's beyond repair
If you still think about each other and smile before you remember how screwed up it's gotten or maybe dream of a time less rotten
Remember, it ain't too late to take a deep breath and throw yourself into it with everything you got
It's great to be alive
Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt
a world of hurt
drive by truckers
so...
i'm left contemplating the truth found in the reality of love, butterflies & a world of hurt. sometimes the very things that make me want to pull the covers over my head & wish that everything outside of that fairly pretentious shield would all just dissolve into nothingness are the very things that drive me from said bed to embrace this truth. i'm just sure that i would've heard the scream before the splat if i had just listened close enough.
maybe the ears w/which i need to hear are not on my head, much akin to the eyes w/which i often see aren't either...
I want to hear
I want to hear
The scream of the butterfly
when the music's over
the doors
i often wondered what jim meant by that. maybe it's just the byproduct of too many drugs & the insatiably unrelenting appetite for discovery. maybe he was just nuts.
either way, my mind isn't free from a moment this past week as am's & i traveled many miles back & forth between the hospital & home. it was on 1 such recent journey that it happened as i'm sure that it has to countless other travelers on countless other journeys on countless other roads. the significance of said event has none the less been turned over w/in me time & time again as i continue to process the trips as well as the journeys.
it was a gorgeous afternoon on i-49 as the earth lay radiant in all it's glory. the black butterfly bounds beautifully over the tops of the median's bountiful johnson grass unbeknownst to the horrible end that awaits it. the cruise is set @ 78 or so mph's & i quickly do the rudimental physics in my head & realize that this insect is bound to become an endoplasmic glob on the windsheld of my avy.
the new dbt, (well at least to me), is on the radio while my mind swims deep within the lyrics when the inevitable happens. just as beautifully as the bug once bounced over grass tops as if pulled on a string, it now comes to a horrific rest on the glass before me. already considering the wonderfully terrifying realities of the fragility of life w/mike in the hospital only serves to compound the situation.
& the cd spins...
Once upon a time, my advice to you would have been go out and find yourself a whore
But I guess I've grown up, because I don't give that kind of advice anymore
Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt
I was 27 when I figured out that blowing my brains wasn't the answer
So I decided, maybe I should find a way to make this world work out for me
And my good friend Paul was 83 when he told me; that "To love is to feel pain"
And I thought about that then and I've thought about that again and again
Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt
"To love is to feel pain" there ain't no way around it
The very nature of love is to grieve when it is over
The secret to a happy ending is knowing when to role the credits
Better role them now before something else goes wrong
No, it's a wonderful world, if you can put aside the sadness
And hang on to every ounce of beauty upon you
Better take the time to know it there ain't no way around it
If you feel anything at all
Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt
So if what you have is working for you, or you think that it can stand a reasonable chance, and whatever's broken seems fixable and nothing's beyond repair
If you still think about each other and smile before you remember how screwed up it's gotten or maybe dream of a time less rotten
Remember, it ain't too late to take a deep breath and throw yourself into it with everything you got
It's great to be alive
Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt / Gonna be a world of hurt
a world of hurt
drive by truckers
so...
i'm left contemplating the truth found in the reality of love, butterflies & a world of hurt. sometimes the very things that make me want to pull the covers over my head & wish that everything outside of that fairly pretentious shield would all just dissolve into nothingness are the very things that drive me from said bed to embrace this truth. i'm just sure that i would've heard the scream before the splat if i had just listened close enough.
maybe the ears w/which i need to hear are not on my head, much akin to the eyes w/which i often see aren't either...
posted by lee at 1:54 PM
1 Comments:
I don't know what Jim meant for sure but this song makes me thing he was saying that he was ready to die if he could no longer perform. Jim may or may not have intended to die in that tub in France, but he had been committing a slow suicide for years.
A butterfly screaming makes me think of something gentle and peaceful experiencing pain and or rage.
so there ya have my unasked for contribution. Now I will read the rest of the post. Jim always stops me in my tracks so I had to comment before I moved on.
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